Let me get the bad stuff for this month out of the way.
I know we often find ourselves or maybe it's just me.... throwing pity parties over dumb stuff like being childless, fat, poor, working full time with not much reward, etc. You know....all that DUMB stuff! And I can’t seem to get out of this rut! I’m so annoyed with my-self. Not only because I know how incredibly blessed I am and how things could be so much worse! But also because I have the power to change things especially my attitude! Let me explain a little bit of what’s going on in my mind!
Last year I had gone on weight watchers and did it quiet successfully. I lost over 30lbs in 3 months! However, I backed off my insulin in order to do it. BUT I was happy with the results! Because I had backed of my insulin in order to diet (dieting as a diabetic doesn't go well it makes everything twice as difficult! I am being totally honest I’m not the best when it comes to dealing with difficult things. And I know it’s all just excuses excuses excuses! Anyway.....) the result wasn't only weight loss but loss of sugar control. I had to get it back under control! It was long and hard road! My body had adjusted to the lack of insulin support so when I was getting everything back on it all BACK FIRED! I had gotten a really bad cold in October my sugars where so high the meter couldn't even pick make a reading! (Meaning they were over 500) I started upping my insulin. It took about a week or so to get them controlled but because I had such high sugars my body started retaining everything! My eye sight was also affected. Let me just say that before October I weight 40lbs LESS than I did come December! I put on that much weight because my body freaked out. I went on diuretics but it didn't help! With the diuretics I was expecting to even be peeing like a race horse but it didn't happen. The Dr couldn’t up the dose unless I went on constant supervision and moniteration of common side effects. Me nor my Dr felt that it was necessary since the only issue I was having with the water weight is that my pants and shoes didn’t fit. I have had to live with this weigh gain. It sucks when you no longer have to wear a belt with your fat jeans! I even weight more now than I did a year ago. I'm officially obese! I'm 100lbs over weight! I'm so ashamed especially with my disease! This has not been good!
Scott tells me over and over "but you are healthy you eat healthy your sugars are better"..... But it doesn't help when I look in the mirror and see the weight! It's hard enough dealing with the fact my clothes don't fit, and that I have to literally move my belly to the side just to shave my legs! I can't express how tempting it is to go off my medication again. My body will burn everything and get rid of everything (like fat and water) to flush my blood with stuff to lower my sugars! But I must not! I will not! I will have to work extra hard now to drop the lbs.! This means not just really focusing on cutting out calories but fat. I don't struggle with eating sugary foods for obvious reasons but I do struggle with fat! Example: I don't opt for margarine over butter, who wants to drink skim milk?, Turkey bacon? Really???..... Also I need to get my butt in gear and get more exercise!! I work a full time job and really don't care to go to the gym or even do Zumba on the Kinect before or after work. But now that Scott is only working only 1 job ;) he can be my exercise buddy. I hate HATE running especially in place and my little legs and my huge midsection make it incredibly painful to do ellipticals! So the plan is to play some B-ball, soccer, swim, weights, and bikes! We still are in the process of deciding if we should join a gym. (This is part of the reason why I'm anxiously waiting for spring.)
It’s hard for me to have faith and encouragement in my-self. I don’t have a great track record when it comes to eating really healthy and exercising! But I think that’s what I like about blogging! If I get it all out there in the wonderful web for people. (I’m going to pretend that people will read this) Than I will be held accountable even more! I think I also might do a video diary and take pictures of my-self for motivation. (Not sure if any of them will be made public). So here is to hoping I can pull this off and at least get down to a weight both me and my Dr. will be happy with! :)
Now the good part of this blog!
I was so fortunate to be able to see my favorite band twice in 1 month! Scott and I were not planning on going to see them on New Year’s because I had bought really expensive tickets to see them in Wendover later in the month. But on New Year’s Eve I got a “tweet” from the tour manager saying that he had a “New Year’s present” for me. (I hadn’t mentioned on twitter that we were not going nor had I asked for M&G!) So I flew up to Park City as fast as my little bug would carry me so that I could see them that night! They put on an amazing show! (Like always!)
I had been trying to persuade my beautiful friend Audri to come with us to Wendover since she is a fellow fan. To my surprise and utter excitement she came. She had the great idea of riding the “fun bus” to Wendover. What an adventure that was! But it was nice to not have to drive especially because of the weather that day! Audri invited another gal and I invited another friend of mine. So it was Scotty and a bunch of girls! I had made hats for the bands kids and a hat for their band manager and I was actually surprised but Bobby (manager) loved his hat. (See below the hat Scott is modeling) Jimi (cute brown headed guy in the band) said that Bobby looked like Zac Brown! ;) Becky (Phillip the other cute guy in the band's sweet wife) sent me a tweet with a picture of the hat to say thankyou!
The concert was amazing! Scott and I were front row joes! It was fantastic! Phillip came over to the side of the stage where we were sitting and handed me his guitar pick! I can't express how much I just love that band and the people in it! Anyway..... Audri got a drumb stick! It was hilarious! We gambled a bit and Audri's friend did really well at Roulette! A lady that was on our bus hit a jack-pot! Oh ya and I had won bingo on the bus! It was a great time! Hope we can do it again sometime!! GOODTIMES!!
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